When I was younger I wanted people to like me so badly that it got to the point where I could have easily been mistaken for a chameleon. I was definitely guilty of being a pleaser which obviously didn’t serve me or the relationships with those around me at all.
I still struggle at times with need-to-please-situations varying from giving my cat the best side of the couch (even though he will jump up to go sleep in a carton box right after) to saying NO to some vague ex-colleague’s request to meet over coffee and catch up on topics I definitely do not need to catch up on while I could have been watching Netflix in the comfort of my hermit house while complaining nobody ever asks me to meet up over coffee.
Finding your tribe
Needless to say, my need to please did not give me the enlightened yogi/zen vibes I envisioned for myself. What does however gives me some sense of calm nowadays within the chaos called my life is my tribe. My tribe are the few important people in my life I can count on one hand who I know will be there regardless.
Whether I’m running towards my car on the parking lot after a horrible day at the office crying hysterically because management decided to change the coffee beans after a ‘quick win braindump session‘ or when I just need to vent on the phone for 7 hours straight about how I am convinced I have really really found my life mission this time (while always changing my mind the next day with a straight poker face).
I’ve learned I attracted the most important people in my life by truly speaking my mind and sharing my goals and values when I felt there was some sort of connection or ‘spark’ there.
While it is difficult for us, the overthinkers, to put ourselves out there and make new connections, I would really really like to advise you to Just Do It (and no, by this I don’t mean grab your running shoes and drive your car to the gym to go sit on a bike..).
I mean go talk to that person you feel some sort of weird familiarity with and see where it leads. For all you know, within a year, you won’t be the only one attending that weekly yoga class asking yourself why that inner peace is taking so long. Instead you will be looking over at your friend feeling pretty relieved and calm by the meaningful third eye she rolls at you that says all you need to know.
Namast’ay (in bed).